Sean Hannity is a man of many paradoxes. He is beloved by the Christian right, yet spews hate to a degree with which Linda Blair might feel insecure. A little Youtube research reveals that he once proclaimed his hatred of fascism, which is a little like Jenna Jameson saying she loves doing porn but hates doing sex scenes. The first ten minutes of last Tuesday's episode of Fox News's "Hannity and Colmes" (Hannity was alone in his hosting duties on this particular night, with Alan Colmes still recovering from his hysterectomy)* was dedicated to how Senator Obama dropped Mr. Hannity's name on the campaign trail, which immediately preceded Hannity claiming that he wouldn't "pander" to Obama if he were to appear on the program.

In light of these apparent contradictions, should it come as any surprise that Mr. Hannity also runs his own online dating service called “Hannidate” where “people of like conservative beliefs can come together and meet”? In a word: holy motherfuck.

Now, as a sanctimonious post-college unemployed writer, I could (obviously) go many directions with this news. I could tell you that I hope one day that I'm invited to a Hannidate-inspired wedding, where one lover looks deep into the other's eyes and says "from the moment she told me she wanted a thousand-mile fence on the Rio Grande and could never elect someone who was best friends with an unrepentant terrorist...I knew I would spend the rest of my life with her."

 I could tell you that I wonder why there aren't any Hannidate commercials on television, the way there are so many match.com and eharmony.com commercials, complete with guys looking at the camera and saying "Sean Hannity just made me want to love again." 

But I won't - mostly because I'm out of space. But I just wanted to let everyone know that there's still some good-old fashioned love in the 21st Century, and it’s all thanks to Sean Hannity. Who knew?

(Wait, are you serious?)

I am:

http://web1.hannity.com/hannidate/

*Alan Colmes is a woman, you see.